When your are dumped by your therapists…

Betrayal is the feeling of having been left alone, stabbed in the back, having someone take action behind your back or against your will.

Abandonment is the act of betraying a promise – written or otherwise for no logical or understandable reason to the person being abandoned.

Ethical Framework to the counseling professions is about Ethics (values, principles, and personal moral qualities) and it is also about Good Practice (putting clients first, working to professional standards, respect, integrity, accountability and candor, responding to ethical dilemmas and issues etc. )

I have been chewing on these few concepts since last night. I slept because I took a sleeping pill, which for once was quiet useful.

I would like to dwell today on values. I like the word values, it is tricky because it is personal. It is related to morality, because why would something be valued if it is or is not morally viable? hmmm

You might perhaps be wondering why I am asking or putting forward all these philosophical and linguistic babbling. Here it goes:

I was betrayed and abandoned by both my psychiatrist and psychologist agasint the ethical framework binding the helping professions. Ah, much better to say it in writing.

I am not interested in pointing fingers, or mentioning names. I like Jesus, this wise man decided to give the other cheek. I take to his way of doing things, though am neither religious nor wise. But you see, Jesus had a point. When you give the other cheek you force the person in front of you to start questioning their moral stand point. They start thinking of their actions and reactions. They question themselves. Maybe, if one is lucky, they discover that they could have acted differently.

The reason I am being denied treatment by both my helpers is that I refuse to be hospitalized. I prefer daily monitoring, while being close to my children. I am  in no danger to others and I have vowed not to pass to the act of self harm under any circumstances. I was not once offered an alternative solution to hospitalization, I was not once talked to about the benefits of being closed up. It was just decided, with a strong authoritarian approach  that no hospitalization equals no treatment.

Is there something called middle ground? Let’s try and find out in the dictionary. Yes! There is dear people something called middle ground,  and it means and I quote the Cambridge online English Dictionary: “a position between two opposite opinions in an argument, or between two descriptions.”

Very well, So if the argument of my therapists is that they wash their hands from the blood a potential suicidal person – whose suicide has now been established to be induced by anger – is valid. What does it actually mean? Here are a few options, you may add your own:

1- Protecting their “practice” is more important than protecting their patient: Self evident really. I wash my hand from thee blood on me chart of dead patients.

2- Protecting their “practice” is more valuable than the life of a borderline personality disorder (BPD) patient: By default a BPD fears, like seriously fears being left alone or behind. But again, thee blood is not on me finger (choice of finger left to you my dear reader)

3- Protecting their “practice” is a manipulative: Aha, yes let us tell the patient we shall not be responsible for you anymore and then wait behind the theater’s red curtain for the moment when the patient falls into the ground and starts begging them to control her life and take her back into the bliss of treatment.

There must be many more reasons, one of which is plain stupidity. Not once was I asked to find anther therapist, or helped in finding one. What about the period between ending your mighty help, and me finding someone else to help me? Lexomil, Dolipran, cutting my own veins?  What was going into your tiny minds, with your tiny neurons floating around in this state of reduced mental capacity for judgment?  I would seriously reconsider careers if I were you… But you are not that smart

You did me some favors though:

I learned that I alone own my destiny. 

I learned that I alone control what goes into my body and in my mind.

I learned that I alone decide whom I will share my life.

I refuse to learn that people are bad until they prove otherwise. 



14 thoughts on “When your are dumped by your therapists…

  1. Thank you Anonymous for your comment. I would never dream of forcing anyone to help me. Yet, if they currently are they should wait till I find someone else with whom I can continue therapy. Bless you


  2. Nour, I’m glad you insisted on your position. It is solely your decision and do whatever makes you more comfortable and happier.
    I believe that this crossroad happened for a reason. I’m also hopeful that when/if you consult other doctors, they might have a different approach and treatment that could work better for you. Stay strong and remember you’re the upper hand here!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I believe that one should have access to their inner power – especially in times of difficulty.
    It was hard for me to stand on a firm ground against “professional” opinion. Yet my strength comes from a primordial instinct that be hopefully right: I am better off at home. I am also hoping to find a helper who shares the idea that I should have the choice of treatment😍. Bless you


  4. I believe when you don’t fit in a certain system, either you end up leaving or the other way around.
    It’s similar as when a boyfriend that you really don’t love leaves you. Is it bad? At the precise moment that he’s dumping you , yes , it definitely hurts! Is it really bad? NO! Cause , did you reallt loved him? Mmm nope. And at the end this brings the opportunity to find another person that you really like.
    Shame on both your Dr and therapist but this brings the opportunity to find someone who can help you ( were they really helping you?).
    You have the mental clarity to know that you are much better when ypu are close to your CHILDREN ( so do them) , you write in such a clear way, it shows you are blessed with this talent to express your ideas in such a nice way.
    Follow your gut, you will find the right people ( Those weren’t ).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes Ana it does hurt my ego which is very central to my life now unfortunately. I should see the situation like you said instead of crying over spilled milk. It hurts me as a past psychologist to see this level of unprofessionalism in those working in the helping profession. Love. Nour


      1. I know! And you are so right!
        Thanks God you know what’s best for you and you didn’t follow other’s opinion. You know best.
        Now having this clear ( that you don’t want to stay at a Hospital full time) , let’s find the right person , someone who understands this simple fact.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I totally agree on what u said , they are unethical and you deserve much better ,, apparently they are not as professional as they want us to think .. it’s good that u got rid of them ..

    Liked by 1 person

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