Depression hits again

I spent all day in bed today. The only thing I forced myself to do I to go for a jog; a mere 15 minutes.

When I was awake I smoked; I managed to finish a whole pack.

I am depressed, real down. I have nothing to do but wait for Prozac to kick in, which would be in a couple of weeks.

Even then, my hope of healing is minimal. I depend on Benzos and the one I am taking now – Rivotril- is barely reducing my anxiety.

I wake up at 4 AM everyday. Today I patiently waited till noon to get to bed again. I mostly listen to a cocktail of brainwaves. They put me to sleep. I want to induce an artificial coma, to wake up when these two weeks are over.

I am scared, I am numb, I eat motley carbs. It is raining outside. I want to sleep again.

TBC

2 thoughts on “Depression hits again

  1. I know this is far easier said than done but the fact that you got yourself outside for a job is a massive achievement considering your circumstances – while I know I am probably physically capable of it I rarely go for a jog these days because of anxiety issues!

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

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