Happy and no longer depressed …

Many days have passed since I have written.

Today is a happy day. I come with message of hope. I want to tell you that there is a possibility of getting better.

I have been well for over 8 months now and this is the longest symptom free stretch I live so far since I got ill.

It might not seem much. But my Dr. told me that after 6 months without bipolar symptoms I should start feeling less worried. It means I could start relaxing.

I am…

I want to tell you my medical regimen – I take 750 levothyroxine daily and supplement with omega 3. No more antidepressants, no more anxiolytics.

Bipolar is not treatable with those.

I do rTMS now as maintenance, at least twice a year.

My treatment has been life changing but it would have never been possible without the help and daily support of my family. My amazing father and my husband nursed me like a newborn. They believed in me; they knew I would get better. I am blessed to have a very solid support system with my immediate family. My mother in law took me in like her own daughter.

But in this post I want to thank one person specifically- for without him, I wouldn’t have been able to make it.

Hassan – you are a saint. Your patience and love were and are unconditional.

If I am alive today it is because you trusted my judgement despite my illness that the medial system as it is today is wrong yet still fought for a solution.

Night and day, with the children around us you would make me laugh, juggling work and trying to find a way out of this endless night.

Today, I would like to say that I am simply happy and no longer depressed.

Thank you for your endless love and unconditional love.

You were my sanity when my thoughts were gone.

You taught me that impossible does not exist.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who reached out during these difficult times and wrote to me or called me. Each and every single message brightened my day and made a difference; you wouldn’t believe how much.

And now… let me end my post by a quote from Rumi “ whenever we manage to find love without expectations, calculations, negotiations, we are indeed in heaven”

12 thoughts on “Happy and no longer depressed …

  1. Hi Nour, your story is so inspirational to me. I am on 600mg Levothyroxine with fish oil supplement and still depressed/mixed symptoms. I just hope this medication works for me. I feel like it’s my last hope. Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Anne dear
    Thank you for getting in touch. It is so good to know that there are other people out there taking thyroxine. I believe it is a miracle drug.
    I first of all wish you stability from the bottom of my heart. I do rTMS and this was vital to me.
    Also what was important is adjusting the dose. I was not doing so well until I found the right dose. You know just 50 mg could make night and day difference in my mood. I think this is one factor to consider. Also are you doing rTMS ?
    Another thing to note, were you on antidepressants before? And for how long ? Are you having coffee or any stimulants? Sleeping well? Are you drinking? All these factors are important. Are you by any chance with Dr Andy Zamar?


  3. Wooow… this definitely is an uplifting message that made my day. I know we have never met, but I used to think of you a lot, wondering how you are and always hoping for the best. Was always looking forward to your blogs as your writings regardless of the mood are always inspiring and very heartfelt… I am glad you finally reached this spot and wishing you continuous blessings along the way 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi dear
      Thank you so much for this lovely and warm message. I am really touched. It was definitely a very long journey. I hope that everyone reaches a point of balance at some stage or another. I am really beyond grateful for you following up on me. It is such a blessing to feel connected. Wishing you all the very best.


  4. so happy for you and proud of you. you fought like a beast. i met you once in a hospital you were staying at and saw how tired you were.. we all were very tired. i’m so glad you’re all better now. 🙂
    wishing you all the best

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi L
      I think this is the best comment I have ever received! Thank you so very much for writing. I am really really touched.
      I hope you are in a better place yourself. Do stay in touch please.


    1. Hi Sarah
      Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean so much to me. Writing was my my tool to vent and keep my sanity. It is only fair to tell the whole story. I hope it stays that way. Wishing you all the best dear. Thank you for getting in touch.


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